So if you know me, you know that poetry has been a passion of mine for really a large part of my life. It was only until my freshmen year in college that I was able to perform poetry in front of a large crowd for the first time. Check out my video at the Miss Black and Gold pageant performing Lost and Found (whoop whoop!). Challenging myself to break out of my comfort zone was really a journey of itself and I always challenge you all to do what makes you afraid if it’s necessary for your growth. After I performed for the first time, I was like an addict. I kept performing at other organization events and open mics and eventually I created Untamed Tongues poetry collective at my university. I felt like the amount of growth I’ve experienced in the past two years has really been tremendous for me. With all of that, recently this old tale of writer’s block has seemed to catch up with me but maybe it’s really more than that.
For my writers out there, when you describe writer’s block what does that mean to you and how long does it last? Typically the idea is to keep writing, to keep working whether that means editing other poems or reading and researching, doing whatever you can to at least stay in the spirit of writing. With all the changes I’ve experienced this past year, I feel like I’m in this huge transition period where parts of me are changing so much and I’m so afraid of what that means. I haven’t performed in 10 months and although I write everyday, it’s more journaling than poems. Do you ever get afraid that in your growing process you’ll lose a part of yourself that you love? I was a great swimmer in high school and I was really passionate about it but I decided not to continue in college. I wish that I could have but I decided to do something else, to build a different part of me and that’s okay.
As artists, bringing out our emotions to create something entirely new and present it to the world is extremely exhausting. Being an artist to me is a very spiritual journey which entails a constant need for discovery, reflection, and a projection of it all. Boy have I been emotionally exhausted lately. I wonder if this writer’s block is really just that or if I’m really moving towards a new journey. One thing about me is that I’m always changing, I’m always a moving force. I love that about myself but it also scares me. I want something to be grounded in.
I just felt the need to talk about this because so many people have asked me why I haven’t been performing at organization events and when I plan to and I honestly don’t have a set date for when I’ll return to the poetry world. I have to bring up my breakup because I do think it’s an important part of my journey right now. I have to remind myself that it’s okay to mourn and that it is very much like losing a part of yourself. Don’t ever feel ashamed for that because it’s very natural and I hate that people make relationships such a thing to not have real hurt and personal challenges from. I don’t want to talk about it too much though because I want to move past it yet not be afraid of it. I’m still a poet at heart and spirit, I just need some time to gather myself I think even if that means indulging in something new for a while. I’m still trying to find myself in a new place, rebuild my heart and find my truth again.
There are years that ask questions and years that answer. -Zora Neale Hurston
Perhaps this has been a year of questions. Perhaps 2016 will be a year of answers and true transformations. This is not exactly my new year post but I do strive to be spiritually healthier in the new year. How do you all get past moments like this? Growing pains it what it’s called maybe. What is this thing we like to give our truth to called writer’s block? Is it really just a block from writing or is it much more than that?
Leave your comments below! Let’s start a discussion. Remember to #OwnYourTruth 😉
YouTube: Taylor Vinson